Pleasantly Drunken Encounters
by Grell The Leper
Summary: Darcy didn't usually drink, and there was a very good reason for it. Because normally she wouldn't dream of dancing with Loki, God of Mischief, former super villain and Frostgiant of Jotunheim. At least, not without a taser. But maybe this once, it wasn't a bad thing.
1. Chapter 1

_ Well, this is unusual. Grell The Leper, yaoi fangirl extremist, writing a straight pairing. Yep, I went there. I just couldn't help myself, because the DarKi ship has taken me in. I'm all for FrostIron usually, but the urge was too much and I had to write this. Because Darcy and Loki are just a little too cute. This is meant to be a one shot, but if I get enough feedback, I might continue. So, read, enjoy and pretty please review._

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, regardless of my dreams.**

**Pleasantly Drunken Encounters**

Darcy wasn't a drinker for a reason. Jane knew that better than anyone, yet she still insisted that Darcy have that fifth shot of tequila.

So, Darcy was now drunk, hammered, locked, pissed, intoxicated, call it what you will. Which was probably why she was dancing with the God of Mischief and Lies.

"You know, I didn't expect to see you at a party that celebrates a year your humiliating defeat," she teased, trying her best not to stand on Loki's feet. God or not, a six inch stiletto to the toe was going to hurt.

"Hardly 'humiliating', Miss Lewis. I have repented, remember? Thor insisted upon it," Loki smiled, his emerald eyes twinkling. Darcy snorted.

"Yeah, right. Once a master of mischief, always a master of mischief."

"That's 'god' of mischief to you. Would you prefer that I change my Puckish ways?"

"Nah, you wouldn't be nearly as interesting," Darcy quipped, planting a kiss on the god's cheek. Loki grinned at her as he led her off the dance floor to get another drink.

"Another shot, Miss Lewis?" he offered, looking like butter wouldn't melt. Darcy knew that look, and she so wasn't fooled. That, however, certainly didn't stop her from taking the drink.

"You're just trying to get me drunk, aren't you?"

"That, m'dear, happened long before you spoke to me. But I wonder... are you so easygoing while sober?" he asked, wrapping a slender arm around her waist.

"Sure I am, though usually I'd bring a taser, just to be safe," she winked. Loki wasn't quite sure what a taser was, but from the purely minacious look in her eye, he could take a very good guess.

As Darcy downed her drink, and an additional one just to be certain, Loki surveyed the room. Tony Stark was surrounded by women, as always, though his arm was around Pepper. Natasha and Clint were off making out like teenagers in a dark corner, thinking nobody would see them, much to Loki's amusement. Steve Rogers, on the other hand, looked entirely out of place, as Thor guffawed loudly at something a tipsy Jane said, smacking the super soldier on the back and nearly knocking him over in the process.

"Is he always that loud?" Darcy asked, nodding her head towards Thor.

"Oh yes, always. Worse when he's intoxicated," Loki stated.

"You mean he's not already?"

"No, no, it takes a lot more than that to get Thor drunk. Unlike you, it seems," Loki teased, hooking a finger under Darcy's chin. The brunette's first comeback was to stick her tongue out at the god.

"Why, Miss Lewis, how utterly petulant. You should put your tongue away before I'm forced to bite it."

"Go ahead, I like it rough." And Darcy kissed him. Of course, Loki had been right when he commented on how drunk she was, and so the kiss itself was nothing short of clumsy, yet Loki was still kissing her back, which was a lot more than she had hoped for. It was a clash of tongue and teeth on her end, a more delicate and refined manner from Loki, but the result was breath taking.

Literally.

Because as soon as they pulled away for air, Darcy collapsed into Loki's arms.

* * *

"Darce? Hey, Darcy, you alright?"

"Jane, why would Lady Darcy sleep in your chambers? Is her room not suitable?"

"She was probably too hammered to find her own, I'm surprised she got home."

"Jane, I swear to you, I would never use Mjoӧlnir on your friend."

'What a rude awakening,' Darcy thought groggily, snuggling deeper into the blankets. The blankets that smelled a lot like Jane. Slowly, Darcy opened her eyes to see Jane and Thor staring down at her. A moment later, she realised why.

"Darcy, you know I love you, but you have your own bed, you know? So, could you maybe go back to it? And get out of mine," Jane suggested.

"Oh, oh, crap, so sorry, Jane, I'm like totally outta here. Sorry for defiling your bed with my fine ass, you guys just go ahead and screw like rabbits," Darcy rambled as she fled the room. It was only when her back was to her door that she noticed her pounding headache. And as luck would have it, there was already a glass of water and some painkillers on her bedside table. Painkillers and a note:

Miss Lewis,

I had a thoroughly enjoyable time last night, and I do believe you were the cause of it. However, I think you may be in need of these to help with the after effects of our pleasurable evening. I look forward to seeing you again soon, though I do hope you remember to breathe next time.

Loki.

P.S. Miss Foster's bed looked more comfortable than yours, and I do what I want.

**The End.**


	2. Of Penis Straws and Strippers

So, seeing as I got so many wonderful reviews and followers, I decided to write another chapter, just to thank you all. I'm slowly falling in love with this fic though, so I think, if I get more reviews, it will probably end up a series of Darcy's Drunken Oneshots. Oh, yeah, and I don't know what they're called in other countries, but basically a Hen Party is like a Bachelorette Party, one of those pre-wedding celebrations that involve penis shaped paraphernalia. So, enjoy and please review

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. But I did manage to get a Loki keyring at a convention the other day, and he looks so tsundere. **

**Pleasantly Drunken Encounters: Of Penis Straws and Strippers**

It had been three weeks since Darcy's little rendezvous with the God of Mischief, and she was insisting to Jane that she would never drink again. There were, however, exceptions to this rule, such as birthday parties, girl's nights out, girl's nights in, every one of Tony Stark's frequent house parties, and now Jane's hen party.

Because when every martini had a penis-shaped straw in it, you just couldn't say no.

"That's quite a skilled mouth you have there, Miss Lewis," whispered a voice over her shoulder, causing her to splutter martini over her emerald green cocktail dress.

"Goddammit," she swore, all but slamming her drink on the bar and turning, albeit clumsily, to face her 'assailant'.

"Actually, I'm not really in a damning mood right now, perhaps later," Loki grinned, downing the rest of her martini, although he did make sure to remove the straw first.

"Loki, what are you doing, sneaking up on me like that? I could have tased you, or had a heart attack, which would totally ruin my night," Darcy snapped, snatching her glass back as if it were precious.

"My apologies, you just look so appetising in that dress, I just had to say hello."

"Uh-huh. And what exactly are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be at Thor's bachelor party?" Darcy asked sceptically, still clutching the glass to her chest.

"I got bored. The company is much more pleasurable here, and Thor's party doesn't involve drinking apparel in the shape of the male genitalia, which, might I add, you seem to be enjoying," Loki shrugged with a wink, watching Darcy blush.

"Look, I'm just going with the traditions here, 'kay? I've got my tiara, my sash, my penis straws, and a whole lotta drink," Darcy quipped, gesturing to the sash across her chest that read 'No. 1 Flirt.'

"And tell me, did you get crowned for your flirting, or did you flirt for your crown?" Darcy stopped for a moment, wondering if even her sober mind could actually decipher that.

"Hey, Loki... Maybe, you should just use your mouth for something other than confusing me?" she suggested. The god smirked, running a finger along her cheek.

"Of course, Miss Lewis. Are you going to remember to breathe this time?" he asked, his breath ghosting against her lips as he leaned in to-

"Darcy, what are you doing, we are haven't even seen the stripper yet!" Jane exclaimed, interrupting the pair before they could have their fun. "Loki, what are you even doing here, shouldn't you be with Thor and the boys?"

"Perhaps, Miss Foster , but I have been kind enough to keep with your traditions," Loki stated, gesturing to newly materialised sash that read 'God of Sex'.

"Very well, Mr. Sex God, you can stay, but no distracting Darcy from the stripper," the brunette giggled, wiggling her eyebrows at the pair before skipping off to the dance floor. How she managed to skip in those heels Darcy would never know.

"She seems pretty damn excited about that stripper. He'd better be gorgeous," Darcy muttered, demanding another martini from the bartender. Loki grinned to himself, sliding an arm around the mortal's waist.

"Oh, I've heard that this particular stripper is quite infamous, I'm sure you'll enjoy it." Before Darcy could ask him what he meant, the lights went down, and a spotlight shone on a large table in front of Jane, where a slightly muscled, brunette male stood in a fireman's outfit. A male that looked suspiciously familiar.

"People always ask me what I'd be if I wasn't rich... Well, I'll tell you. I'd be gorgeous. Still unbelievably sexy. And probably be a fireman, just to feed that hero complex. But, luckily for you lovely ladies, I'm a hero on the pole too," the stripper announced, gyrating his hips.

"Loki, is that...? Oh, wow, it is, isn't it? How the hell did she manage to get him to strip for everyone?" Darcy gasped through her giggles. Loki gave his own equivalent of a guilty smile, although, if asked, he could honestly say he regretted nothing.

"I may have had something to do with it. I mean, there is perhaps the slightest chance that that I slipped a little magic into his scotch, and that may or may not be the reason I am here and not at Thor's party." Darcy shook her head and laughed, deciding that the God of Mischief was some kind of a mastermind. After all, who else could get Tony Stark to strip at a hen party and end up in nothing but leopard print thong and Jane's veil?

"Okay, this is so going on Facebook," chirped Darcy, whipping out her camera. "I'll print you a copy too, y'know, as a memento of your genius."

"Oh, I'm a genius now, am I?"

"Don't let it get to your head, you're already a god. I was just sharing my appreciation for a prank well played. Besides, Tony is actually quite good at it. It's kinda worrying."

"I assure you, Miss Lewis, I'm much better," Loki whispered in her ear, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

"Oh yeah? You wanna show me?"

"But, Miss Lewis, you'll miss the show," Loki gasped in mock concern. Darcy rolled her eyes pulling the god closer to her.

"But, Loki, won't you give me an even better one?" she asked seductively, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Oh, you can count on that," Loki promised, tilting her chin until her lips met his. The kiss started out chastely enough, but it was only a few seconds later when the kiss became all tongue and groping, a predicament that Darcy found she enjoyed a little too much.

"So, toilets, under the table, or are you going to be a classy gentleman and take me back to my place?" Darcy asked when they broke apart, proud that she didn't faint again.

"Milady, I am nothing if not a gentleman," Loki replied with a wink.

* * *

The next morning, Tony Stark awoke with a groan, his head in agony.

"JARVIS, turn off the lights, would you?" he moaned, cradling his head in his hands.

"That's the sun, sir, and I'm afraid I don't have the power capacity to turn that off," the A.I. quipped. The superhero groaned again, pulling off the duvet to find that he was wearing a leopard print thong.

"The hell happened last night?" he thought, wondering how he had gotten home last night, when he saw a note on the bedside table, lying next to what looked like a photograph.

"Oh, fuck, I didn't... Oh, gods, I did..." he swore.

Dear Stark,

You, Sir, have been so thoroughly LOKI'D. But the girls at Miss Foster's party certainly enjoyed the show.

Loki.

Tony could only groan once again, though the Tony in the picture looked more than ecstatic, his eyelids covered in pink glitter, veil covering his hair.

"I am so going to kill him..."

**The End.**


End file.
